Ok people. I have an unbelievably great deal of emotion flowing through my body right now. I'm a little tongue tied to be honest - sitting here and looking at Molly Malaney has flabergasted my typing fingers, so forgive me. Love is a marathon, not a sprint. We just completed miles 24 through 26.2...our legs are cramping, our hips are aching, we have blisters on our feet, and it's the greatest feeling in the world. There's nothing else like it on earth. The Bachelor(ette) creates a feeling of love like we only experience twice a year. Sure, there are you naysayers out there who like to front on me and Chris Harrison, but to you, I say...people get divorced at a 50% rate in the unfortunate world we live in anyway...and that is all the while having months and years to "get to know" each other. So maybe 3 months is something that can actually work. It sure doesn't seem like it hurts their chances, now does it? Does it always work? Obviously no. But tonight we saw three great examples of how it CAN work...even after the disaster of a relationship that Jason and Molly went through. So all of you negative Nancy's out there who say it can't work, it won't work, it doesn't work...you all just go back to watching Judge Judy late at night while you lie in bed surrounded by your 17 cats that you own and let sleep with you and pee in the bed with you. If that offends you, then you probably need to get rid of all your cats. Just sayin....we'll probably see you on Hoarders before long too.
Our journey with Brad and Emily may have come to a close...however their journey has just begun. Now, they need our thoughts and prayers, especially with that kid of Emily's. Joking, but kind of serious. I'd like everyone to take a look back to our very first BLOG. I predicted that Emily had a great chance of being in the finals, and perhaps WINNING (Charlie Sheen voice). She was my only girl with that sort of prediction. I feel that Nostradamus has spoken again. Chris Harrison comes to me in my dreams. I see dead people. It's probably a good thing that Emily was as exciting as paint drying while on the show - otherwise this "competition" would have been a cake walk for her. Her boringness at least gave us hope that someone else may steal Brad's heart. If only Michelle wouldn't have been such a kook. And if only Shawntel would have had a "normal" job...like a maid, or a cook (ya know, typical female jobs) then I think she could have been there in the end. But, alas, Emily's angelic features outshined her lack of persona. Loved her new hairdo tonight by the way - what it is with these girls and AFTER they get back from the show? Their hair looks way better. Maybe it's because it's the firs time they've ever seen themselves on camera. I usually film a biography on myself about once a week, and then review/critique it myself just to make sure everything is in good standing. Some of you ladies should try that out, it does wonders for your style. Oh and yes I do also have videos of myself auditioning for Chris Harrison's job, even though there have not been any requests for those tapes. I also frequently unbutton my pants button after I gorge myself at restaurants, I highly recommend trying that.
So, how did we feel about their "after the rose" episode? This episode is much more meaningful than the actual proposal episode, which is usually just a bunch of fluff (unless you're Jason Mesnick's season). During the main episode tonight though, I did think Brad was a little cry baby when Emily simply was reminding him that having a kid is not always fun (heck...when IS it fun???) Brad got quite defensive and I think he overreacted, do you? Emily was simply making sure he understood everything it takes to be a parent, and he then assumes that she's questioning his dedication. I think we saw his feminism coming out tonight - probably a reason he's still single. But hopefully that's only a once every few months type of deal. I do think it was probably good for them to "fight" a little though - I really think that couples don't get to see the real sides of each other until they have some good fights. My lovely bride and I agreed upon that belief way back in our teenage years and decided we would get to know each other VERY well and VERY often. But, I know today that she's worth fighting for, because I've already done it. I would fight and argue with her every day of my life if it meant still being able to be her husband, and I hope Bremily finds that same feeling.
Emily obviously has some commitment issues, which is scary because Brad usually is the one with those. But maybe this is good for them. Maybe this is what Brad needs - someone that HE has to reassure that everything's ok. I think we'd all agree that they seem to be in love. And it's good to hear they actually broke up and postponed the wedding, I actually think that's really good. Like Brad said, it goes to show that they are a real relationship and not in a fantasy land. Although I think ABC paying hundreds of thousands on your wedding is pretty much a fantasy so he needs to consider that side of things too. Am I guaranteeing that they will make it? No...but let's face it, they've got a much better chance that Jake and Vienna (ha, what a fiasco that was). And I think they both realize that it will take time...just like Ali and Robert-o have.
[Imagine the song "Marry Me" by Train is playing as we read this final paragraph]....As we draw to a close (and only have a little over two months until we see the Bachelorette - PRAY it's not the Carnie!!!) I think we can learn several important life lessons from this season. First, 2nd chances should be granted. Second, Brad runs like a girl. Third, you apparently can give yourself a black eye while sleeping. And fourth, and most importantly, "I believe...love will always find a way". Always remember my Bachelorites...every rose has its thorns, but it doesn't make it smell any less sweet. I love you all like Brad loves the word "please".
XOXO
The Bachelor Wizard
Monday, March 14, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Week 10 - Guard and Protect your Hearts
Well it's one of our favorite weeks - all the losers come back and get to air out all the dirty laundry. I apologize I wasn't able to get this published last night, I ended up having to get some work done instead so that I can pay for the internet that allows me to write this little piece of Heaven. Unfortunately, this episode wasn't NEARLY as juicy as Jake's season...when Rozlyn was caught wrestling around with one of the show's staff members while they were filming. There were A LOT of bombs dropped during that episode. We may not ever see one as hot as that one, however it's still always nice to see all the drama that the whole group brings together as a whole. Think about it, when these ladies are in the house together, 95% of their time is spent split up, in different cliques. Each girl is going to hang out with other girls that they get along with. But when brought back for this episode, all the girls must face each other and duke it out. It's a beautiful thing. Tonight's summary will be shorter, basically I just want to go through and hit some of the highlights, or lowlights, that I gathered from the show...
Increased Popularity:
Michelle - sure, go back and read nearly every week's blog and most of the press was negative towards Michelle...but that was mostly just due to her "plan of action" towards Brad as well as her clearly not being the woman he needs to marry. Based on interviews with some of the other girls, many of them said Michelle was actually very nice during the show and was kind to them. I don't necessarily doubt that - just about ANY time she was being whacko was when she was alone, just with the camera, or with Brad. Very rarely did she do anything crazy when she was with the other girls. Now, don't get me wrong, I think her and Brad were NOT meant for each other...and ultimately that's what led me to portray her negatively, but after seeing her tonight, it was easier to like her. It is hard to say what her true personality is, however we at least got to see a more sensitive side of her tonight, as well as got to hear her acknowledge that she and Brad were not meant for each other...which I think is all any of us ever wanted to hear this season anyway.
Ashley S - no one ever had a bad thing to say about Ash S anyways, but tonight we just got to see a little more of this sweet southern belle. She had a horribly emotional departure, which was hard to watch, and she obviously was still a little saddened by how Brad broke the news to her, but we also did NOT see her act rudely or confront Brad in a harsh manner like many chicks would've. She was polite, sweet, and southern...can't get much better than that.
Britt - the reason Britt's popularity increased was because she talked more on this episode than she did the entire season, that's pretty much it.
Shawntel - our favorite girl went from being a 9.9 to a 10 just by showing up tonight. I don't even think I heard her say a word, however simply by her being present...anyone with a brain and a heart grew more fond of her.
Madison - I think we all gained a solid respect for her after the way she departed the show early. However, getting to see her just be "normal" again last night solidified our recent opinions of her. I still think she is in love with Edward Cullen and that is what ultimately came between her and Brad. But we will never know...
The Carnie Ashley - I hate to say it...but her hair did look a lot better. She went with the pageant queen style hairdo all season which was so darn cute back in 1996, but just wasn't working for us at this point in time. Basically she could've shaved her head and it would've probably looked better, but I actually did like the brunette look. She was still squirrelly though and I'm assuming she'll resume her job back with the circuis any day now...
The Divas we never knew:
Jackie - dad gumit Jackie...I stuck up for you all season and then you go and let me down. Sure she was upset with Michelle and possibly had the reasons to be mad. But as Ashley (the good Ashley) stated...NO GUY WANTS TO SEE GIRLS BE DRAMATIC. It is unnnnnnnnattractive. That is what led to both Raichel and Melissa's demise...although I tend to think that the pizza and onion comments by Melissa is what got her booted. Jack was upset with the stuff Michelle said off-camera, and yes I understand why. However, even after putting in her two cents...which is one cent more than what women should even be allowed...she still continued on about it. I had a great idea last night - Brad should get to watch this episode and then decide if he wants to perhaps bring 1 select girl BACK onto the show. I really think you get to see what the girls are really like after they come back and have to deal with each other all over again.
Stacey - c'mon sister, you really weren't even on the show that long. You can't go around making statements about how people raise their kids and not get flack for it. That's an area that you should know you don't intrude. You want to talk about me? That's fine. But don't you ever talk about how I've raised my german shepherd. Otherwise I will give her the german code word and she will kill you. Stacey should've known that, but apparently was not a part of a sorority that instilled those values. I recommend Kappa Kappa Gamma at the U of Oklahoma (kite and key, blue and blue ladies) for anyone on the search. Stacey probably went to OSU and just didn't know any better.
Melissa and Raichel - again, seeing as though Melissa and Raichel's feud was one of the "top" stories for this episode, it goes to show that there really wasn't THAT much for us to work with this season. For whatever reason, Lissa and Raich just didn't get along. Big whoop, who really cares. Neither of them had a chance as far as I'm concerned. Raichel seems to think that Lissa blew her chances with Brad...I guess Raichel still doesn't know what Emily looks like. And Melissa...poor girl...just not sure how she was even on the show. Most likely just so that they had a few more blondes to mix in with all the brunettes. But she was bad news bears from day one and unfortunately we had to relive her saga last night. At least Brad picked up on it quickly and spared us much agony.
So that's it for the most part - no crazy bombs were dropped...no one provided any new, hot topics...but at least one of them dyed their hair. That's always a headline. Now the question is...Who will be the next Bachelorette? Rumors are saying Ashley the Carnie, which I reeeeeeeeeally hope doesn't happen, even after she got her hair did. I just can't handle it. But, it makes sense. She's probably finished school by now, and this would be a perfect time for her to do something like this if she were going to do it, before she started a real job. Who else would it be? Michelle? I think there's too much disdain for her out there still. Shawntel? Unfortunately too pretty and perfect. Ashley S? She would get my vote. Let me know your thoughts.
Next week is big, huge. We finally get to see if Brad is committed, or if he's going to stab us all in the hearts again with a dull knife and not pick either of them. That would actually be pretty funny...think about how expensive his therapy bill would be after that though. Well, in the beautiful words of Casey from Ali's season, "Here's my heart...jump in and stay a while (oh and by the way I went and got a tattoo of you on my wrist during the show, hope that doesn't freak you out)".
XOXO
Gossip Girl...I mean,
Bachelor Wizard
Increased Popularity:
Michelle - sure, go back and read nearly every week's blog and most of the press was negative towards Michelle...but that was mostly just due to her "plan of action" towards Brad as well as her clearly not being the woman he needs to marry. Based on interviews with some of the other girls, many of them said Michelle was actually very nice during the show and was kind to them. I don't necessarily doubt that - just about ANY time she was being whacko was when she was alone, just with the camera, or with Brad. Very rarely did she do anything crazy when she was with the other girls. Now, don't get me wrong, I think her and Brad were NOT meant for each other...and ultimately that's what led me to portray her negatively, but after seeing her tonight, it was easier to like her. It is hard to say what her true personality is, however we at least got to see a more sensitive side of her tonight, as well as got to hear her acknowledge that she and Brad were not meant for each other...which I think is all any of us ever wanted to hear this season anyway.
Ashley S - no one ever had a bad thing to say about Ash S anyways, but tonight we just got to see a little more of this sweet southern belle. She had a horribly emotional departure, which was hard to watch, and she obviously was still a little saddened by how Brad broke the news to her, but we also did NOT see her act rudely or confront Brad in a harsh manner like many chicks would've. She was polite, sweet, and southern...can't get much better than that.
Britt - the reason Britt's popularity increased was because she talked more on this episode than she did the entire season, that's pretty much it.
Shawntel - our favorite girl went from being a 9.9 to a 10 just by showing up tonight. I don't even think I heard her say a word, however simply by her being present...anyone with a brain and a heart grew more fond of her.
Madison - I think we all gained a solid respect for her after the way she departed the show early. However, getting to see her just be "normal" again last night solidified our recent opinions of her. I still think she is in love with Edward Cullen and that is what ultimately came between her and Brad. But we will never know...
The Carnie Ashley - I hate to say it...but her hair did look a lot better. She went with the pageant queen style hairdo all season which was so darn cute back in 1996, but just wasn't working for us at this point in time. Basically she could've shaved her head and it would've probably looked better, but I actually did like the brunette look. She was still squirrelly though and I'm assuming she'll resume her job back with the circuis any day now...
The Divas we never knew:
Jackie - dad gumit Jackie...I stuck up for you all season and then you go and let me down. Sure she was upset with Michelle and possibly had the reasons to be mad. But as Ashley (the good Ashley) stated...NO GUY WANTS TO SEE GIRLS BE DRAMATIC. It is unnnnnnnnattractive. That is what led to both Raichel and Melissa's demise...although I tend to think that the pizza and onion comments by Melissa is what got her booted. Jack was upset with the stuff Michelle said off-camera, and yes I understand why. However, even after putting in her two cents...which is one cent more than what women should even be allowed...she still continued on about it. I had a great idea last night - Brad should get to watch this episode and then decide if he wants to perhaps bring 1 select girl BACK onto the show. I really think you get to see what the girls are really like after they come back and have to deal with each other all over again.
Stacey - c'mon sister, you really weren't even on the show that long. You can't go around making statements about how people raise their kids and not get flack for it. That's an area that you should know you don't intrude. You want to talk about me? That's fine. But don't you ever talk about how I've raised my german shepherd. Otherwise I will give her the german code word and she will kill you. Stacey should've known that, but apparently was not a part of a sorority that instilled those values. I recommend Kappa Kappa Gamma at the U of Oklahoma (kite and key, blue and blue ladies) for anyone on the search. Stacey probably went to OSU and just didn't know any better.
Melissa and Raichel - again, seeing as though Melissa and Raichel's feud was one of the "top" stories for this episode, it goes to show that there really wasn't THAT much for us to work with this season. For whatever reason, Lissa and Raich just didn't get along. Big whoop, who really cares. Neither of them had a chance as far as I'm concerned. Raichel seems to think that Lissa blew her chances with Brad...I guess Raichel still doesn't know what Emily looks like. And Melissa...poor girl...just not sure how she was even on the show. Most likely just so that they had a few more blondes to mix in with all the brunettes. But she was bad news bears from day one and unfortunately we had to relive her saga last night. At least Brad picked up on it quickly and spared us much agony.
So that's it for the most part - no crazy bombs were dropped...no one provided any new, hot topics...but at least one of them dyed their hair. That's always a headline. Now the question is...Who will be the next Bachelorette? Rumors are saying Ashley the Carnie, which I reeeeeeeeeally hope doesn't happen, even after she got her hair did. I just can't handle it. But, it makes sense. She's probably finished school by now, and this would be a perfect time for her to do something like this if she were going to do it, before she started a real job. Who else would it be? Michelle? I think there's too much disdain for her out there still. Shawntel? Unfortunately too pretty and perfect. Ashley S? She would get my vote. Let me know your thoughts.
Next week is big, huge. We finally get to see if Brad is committed, or if he's going to stab us all in the hearts again with a dull knife and not pick either of them. That would actually be pretty funny...think about how expensive his therapy bill would be after that though. Well, in the beautiful words of Casey from Ali's season, "Here's my heart...jump in and stay a while (oh and by the way I went and got a tattoo of you on my wrist during the show, hope that doesn't freak you out)".
XOXO
Bachelor Wizard
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