panama city ~ here we are a week from lovers day. we can smell it in the air. and fyi, im reporting from bed and using my new tablet. so there will be many typos, just forgive me. also we have huge news. huuuuge news. possibly bigger than whoever goes home tonight. for the first time in years, daddy (me) is not eating ANYTHING for dinner tonight. thats right, zero calories. that has never happened before ever. i dont know if maybe this is a new side of me or possibly im maturing...........but probably not. very shocking though i know. and to think, i only had like 1500 cals for lunch, how am i not starving???
so kacie b gets the first one on one date with little turtle. big surprise, frontrunner. a private island would be cool, unless youre stranded there with ben. good thing the camera crew was there to knock down and open the coconuts and catch\cook the fish. did anyone see the long john silvers bag off to the side?
group date~the girls head into the deep jungle where ben rescues them. jaime claims he is a "man's man" because hes steering a long canoe with a johnson motor attached. hes a regular clint eastwood if you ask me. courtney, aka russell brand, attempts to grab all the attention as suspected. the only good thing about this date is that courtney is not on a one on one date. those are tough to watch with her. at the evening cocktail party, lindzi looks lovely. their connection seems strong. dumpsville should not be in her future. im getting hungry by the way. i think russell brand is wearing txhe same surong froma few weeks ago. ben is acting like a dumb 7th grade boy starring at the victoria secret manicans. jaime isnt able to makethe shot when it counts. which is not a big deal, as its time for her to take the long flight home. she needs to be the goner tonight, we shall see.
emily kind of reminds me of rachel mcadams, anyone? anyone? just a little in the face, but mostly in her smile. she wisens up and gets real with benny and he likes us. she might me back in the game. russell brand must have seen them kissing bc she doesnt accept emilys truce. russell takes no prisoners and nor does her unibrow. and what do we know, lindzi, whom we thought looked lovely, gets the group rose good for her. shes been under the radar recently and im glad that mr turtle head looked elsewhere besides russell. because her other personalities are killing us.
doubles date~brakrey (in chinese) and and racher are headed out to rearn sarsa (salsa). im torn between the two. initially blake was the bad girl, but shes improved much. anyone see rachels khaki shorts with the belt through the loops? dont see that on ladies much anymore. its a lost fashion. do we think ben likes brakreys body paint? i dunno, i would estimate prob not. he may be afraid of bringing her home to mommy. gosh im hungry now. george is sawing logs next to me though so no delicious dish will come from her. im guessing rachel goes home, so lets see if daddys right..........the food at their dinner is making me even hungrier. crap. actually i dont know now. ben has a weird tone in his voice with blake. and noooooooo, brakrey is gone. just when we were starting to like her. shes pissed, but at least she got some cool vacas out of it tho. good to know she was genuinely upset atleast.
cocktair party~casey gets bamboozled by harrison, who currently has my job. somehow directs her to admit that shes still in love with her ex. harrison is like obi won kanobe (sp?) from star wars. he used the force to get her to admit it. amazing. ben acts likehes so surprised when they show up. even though we see the camera crew hanging out and play
ing board games in his room and they happen to be rolling when she comes in. what a shame, as casey is def one of the cuter ladies. who elselikes it when harrison gets to console the bawling girls and be their knight in shining armor? we know he does.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
Getting Loco in Rico - Ben Mistaken
This week we're in Puerto Rico....a lovely German town founded by the Kenyans in the late 1950's. They speak a beautiful dialect of french-polynesian there. I hear it's a lovely place. And after some in-show research, it appears rather affordable to travel to. Perhaps we will need to do an on site visit and check it out. Who's with me?
Ben makes several Californian mistakes this week. The poor fellow is blinded and misguided by the wine. I feel for him, he's probably kicking himself. Nicki gets the first date and it's.....a wash. The rain pouring down on them is indicative of their relationship. It's all washed up. Not going anywhere. Nice girl, nice teeth, probably has good breath being a dental hygienist. Our friend Christy Miller Blankenships is also a dental hygienist, and I know she's a good one because anytime I ask her, she is willing to smell my breath. That's when you know true dedication. Anyway, it's just not there between Nick and Ben-jammin. The only good part about their date was seeing Ben's sweet get up from the costume store. He could certainly pass for a drug lord. I'm very surprised Nicki gets a rose rather than someone like Jennifer. The connection doesn't appear to be very strong and she hasn't gotten a lot of camera time. Oh and by the way, not all of us think you have to live with someone before you can truly know them. It's like buying a digital camera - do your research, read the reviews, and you'll know which one's the right one. I don't think you need to go and buy 10 different cameras and try them all out. All I had to do was ask 2 of Kate's best friends what she was like, and that's all I needed to know, done deal. I didn't know her last name, but that was not important in 9th grade. I think Ben flipped a coin on this one. I don't think Nicki will have the chance to share a household with Ben.
Now the group date was a great time. Loved it. The field they played on reminded me of the filed we played on in a summer league out in Hawaii...old, rusting, turf field, and 0 fans in the stands. Great times that summer was. Go Mighty Menehunes. I wish I could have partaken in this date....simply to watch these ladies in action. Seeing a girl sprint...talk about entertainment! No offense to you feminists out there, but it's just not normal for females to sprint. It's unnatural. It's like a man holding a spatula or folding clothes - just doesn't work or make sense. Some of these ladies look like they had some butch haircuts back in their highschool days...they were smashing the ball. I was impressed. I think we'd all agree that Blakely should've gotten MVP. Great hustle and heart. And I'm pretty sure Ben threw Jennifer a curveball, so we'll let that strikeout slide. I bet those ladies smelled lovely after that competition too. Possibly the BEST line of the season thus far was Kacie B. to Courtney near the end of the game, "You Defense your _ _ _ off!!!" Hahahaha, talk about intensity. She turned defense into a verb it was so serious. And it looks like her pep talk worked, as the red team pulled it out for the beach party.
At the beach party, Kacie B. and Ben have another solid encounter, with her picking up the group date rose, again placing her as the front runner. I'm very surprised Jamie is still around, not sure why. Maybe laying low is the name of the game at this point? She's being good at it. ?Courtney yet again emerges as the villain, shocker. That evil uni-brow is becoming more and more mean, and more and more prevalent. It appeared to be 1/4'' further along than last week. By the championship episode, it will be unified and she will have more power than ever. It's going to be good.
Elyse has also been flying low...and it was a little surprising that he kicked her off instead of a Nicki or Jamie or Casey S. Now, poor little Elyse quit her job to join the show. Let me give all of you lovely, aspiring, potential Bachelor-girl candidates out there some advice - don't quit your job! Unless you'er a professional blogger, like Jenna was. If your job allows you to go, do it. But let's not eliminate our livelihood for love so long as our current president is in office. This blog is a taxable entity so I can push my political and religious views on you all. Deal with it. We can all tell that at dinner, Ben is looking for excuses to get rid of her. He kind of forces her into a corner and she can't find her way out. Poor girl, I liked her, from what little we knew about her. Weird that he proposed to Ashley H. but wouldn't like Elyse...he must like the circus folk!
Thennnnnnnn we have the lady of the night, Courtney, sneak in. Ben should have known, any nice young lady who's willing to unclothe in front of the camera/millions of viewers is probably not the one to bring home to mother. Let's just HOPE that he knows what he's doing and already knows he can't give her the ring, and is just keeping her around for producer purposes. FYI, when Ben took his panties off, it appeared he was wearing some rather skimpy ones as well. Quite possibly a man-thong. Wouldn't surprise me. Probably even had tassles on them. Ben has a lapse in judgment and should feel guilty...it was after hours and against the rules. No bueno. At the cocktail party, Ben's convo with Jennifer was not as great as it could've been, obviously it's easier to see now. But I never would have thought she would be gone tonight. Again, second lapse in judgment for the night. The only thing I can think of is that he eliminated her due to the strikeout. That must have been his only criteria. Bad form. Emily again can't figure it out, and I thought for sure she was gone. Ben must actually like her in order to keep her around after her annoying convos.
Summary - we're getting down to the nitty gritty, and good people have to start being canned. So at some point it has to happen, however we were blindsided tonight. I had several ladies in mind who were on the chopping block, and none went home. Jennifer and Elyse were very surprising. But again, Ben was googoo over Ashley H. so who the heck knows what he likes. I can't figure him out, especially after the banana hammock he was wearing before skinny dipping.
Front Runner - Kacie B.
Number Two - Lindzi
XOXO
The Bachelor Wizard
Ben makes several Californian mistakes this week. The poor fellow is blinded and misguided by the wine. I feel for him, he's probably kicking himself. Nicki gets the first date and it's.....a wash. The rain pouring down on them is indicative of their relationship. It's all washed up. Not going anywhere. Nice girl, nice teeth, probably has good breath being a dental hygienist. Our friend Christy Miller Blankenships is also a dental hygienist, and I know she's a good one because anytime I ask her, she is willing to smell my breath. That's when you know true dedication. Anyway, it's just not there between Nick and Ben-jammin. The only good part about their date was seeing Ben's sweet get up from the costume store. He could certainly pass for a drug lord. I'm very surprised Nicki gets a rose rather than someone like Jennifer. The connection doesn't appear to be very strong and she hasn't gotten a lot of camera time. Oh and by the way, not all of us think you have to live with someone before you can truly know them. It's like buying a digital camera - do your research, read the reviews, and you'll know which one's the right one. I don't think you need to go and buy 10 different cameras and try them all out. All I had to do was ask 2 of Kate's best friends what she was like, and that's all I needed to know, done deal. I didn't know her last name, but that was not important in 9th grade. I think Ben flipped a coin on this one. I don't think Nicki will have the chance to share a household with Ben.
Now the group date was a great time. Loved it. The field they played on reminded me of the filed we played on in a summer league out in Hawaii...old, rusting, turf field, and 0 fans in the stands. Great times that summer was. Go Mighty Menehunes. I wish I could have partaken in this date....simply to watch these ladies in action. Seeing a girl sprint...talk about entertainment! No offense to you feminists out there, but it's just not normal for females to sprint. It's unnatural. It's like a man holding a spatula or folding clothes - just doesn't work or make sense. Some of these ladies look like they had some butch haircuts back in their highschool days...they were smashing the ball. I was impressed. I think we'd all agree that Blakely should've gotten MVP. Great hustle and heart. And I'm pretty sure Ben threw Jennifer a curveball, so we'll let that strikeout slide. I bet those ladies smelled lovely after that competition too. Possibly the BEST line of the season thus far was Kacie B. to Courtney near the end of the game, "You Defense your _ _ _ off!!!" Hahahaha, talk about intensity. She turned defense into a verb it was so serious. And it looks like her pep talk worked, as the red team pulled it out for the beach party.
At the beach party, Kacie B. and Ben have another solid encounter, with her picking up the group date rose, again placing her as the front runner. I'm very surprised Jamie is still around, not sure why. Maybe laying low is the name of the game at this point? She's being good at it. ?Courtney yet again emerges as the villain, shocker. That evil uni-brow is becoming more and more mean, and more and more prevalent. It appeared to be 1/4'' further along than last week. By the championship episode, it will be unified and she will have more power than ever. It's going to be good.
Elyse has also been flying low...and it was a little surprising that he kicked her off instead of a Nicki or Jamie or Casey S. Now, poor little Elyse quit her job to join the show. Let me give all of you lovely, aspiring, potential Bachelor-girl candidates out there some advice - don't quit your job! Unless you'er a professional blogger, like Jenna was. If your job allows you to go, do it. But let's not eliminate our livelihood for love so long as our current president is in office. This blog is a taxable entity so I can push my political and religious views on you all. Deal with it. We can all tell that at dinner, Ben is looking for excuses to get rid of her. He kind of forces her into a corner and she can't find her way out. Poor girl, I liked her, from what little we knew about her. Weird that he proposed to Ashley H. but wouldn't like Elyse...he must like the circus folk!
Thennnnnnnn we have the lady of the night, Courtney, sneak in. Ben should have known, any nice young lady who's willing to unclothe in front of the camera/millions of viewers is probably not the one to bring home to mother. Let's just HOPE that he knows what he's doing and already knows he can't give her the ring, and is just keeping her around for producer purposes. FYI, when Ben took his panties off, it appeared he was wearing some rather skimpy ones as well. Quite possibly a man-thong. Wouldn't surprise me. Probably even had tassles on them. Ben has a lapse in judgment and should feel guilty...it was after hours and against the rules. No bueno. At the cocktail party, Ben's convo with Jennifer was not as great as it could've been, obviously it's easier to see now. But I never would have thought she would be gone tonight. Again, second lapse in judgment for the night. The only thing I can think of is that he eliminated her due to the strikeout. That must have been his only criteria. Bad form. Emily again can't figure it out, and I thought for sure she was gone. Ben must actually like her in order to keep her around after her annoying convos.
Summary - we're getting down to the nitty gritty, and good people have to start being canned. So at some point it has to happen, however we were blindsided tonight. I had several ladies in mind who were on the chopping block, and none went home. Jennifer and Elyse were very surprising. But again, Ben was googoo over Ashley H. so who the heck knows what he likes. I can't figure him out, especially after the banana hammock he was wearing before skinny dipping.
Front Runner - Kacie B.
Number Two - Lindzi
XOXO
The Bachelor Wizard
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Fishing for Love in the Mormon State
Park City Utah - Rachel gets the first one on one date with Beeny the Weiney. Park City is just lovely. Who's been there? I have never, however I would partake in it. Kacie B. is not handling the other dates well, and understandably so. I'll tell you what I don't like about this show - the short timeline that they are allowed to get to know each other. 6-8 weeks? I mean c'mon. How are you really supposed to get to know them in that time? It took Kate over a month to get her first smooch from me back in Summer of '99. And even then I only did it because of a dare. It was all down the tube from there. I will not allow Erin Jr. to play truth or dare...it was my demise.
I wonder what Ben and the girls are thinking when they're heading out to a date. I doubt they have any clue what it's going to be...and they're probably just hoping it doesn't involve sky diving or swimming with sharks. Although I think those dates the ones where you really get to know a girl. How are you supposed to see a girl's true feelings in a vineyard or by yourself in a canoe? That is, unless you throw her overboard. That possibly needed to happen here on this date. Rachel and Bean talked about really intimate stuff, like beaver dams and general building construction. It ain't going well...let's put ourselves out of our misery. Cut the ties before they get too snug. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand he blew it. His only hope is for a bear to come along. Doesn't happen though.
The group date is in the great outdoors. I don't really foresee him as Al Boreland/an outdoorsman...especially when he rode up on the horse and said, "today is going to be rad", I guess that's Californian-outdoors-talk. These ladies need a real man....like a blogger. I've got lots of good memories in waders....only difference is mine is always with a large group of men instead of women. I prefer it that way. Side note, everytime we see Monica, she has a sweet hair bun, or sometimes it looks like it's literally tied in a bow, at all times of the day. It didn't look like Courtney's catch was legit...I'll have to check my inside sources. Unless they didn't start filming it until like 10 minutes after she actually hooked it...trout don't just give up like that. AND, they let it die when it was probably in a catch and release area. I hope they got caught by the park ranger.
Nicki Nick is near the bottom of our list. I don't think I see a future with her or the pant-suit jacket that she wore. Her and Monica need the boot. And now Samantha comes in and knocks it out of the park. The look on her face during their conversation can only be described as........uhh whattt? According to my inside sources, Samantha's departure was not because Benny didn't like her....but rather because she was geting a little too close to some (one) of the folks behind the scenes. I believe it...where there's smoke, there's fire. And Courtney's unibrow. Kacie and Benny love each other, she's definitely one of the front runners. You can tell they just get along together and it's not awkward between them.
Who else likes Courtney's facial expressions? They remind me of Jessica Simpson when she sings (see image above). Benny and Jennifer get the other one on one date. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, you go girl. Represent the 405 lady. She's rocking the bikini in the fall, so kudoz to her. I don't start getting my bikini body ready (along with spray tanning) until March. Now this is a real date....let's get some fear and emotion involved. That's when we really get to know each other. And we all know how those harnesses fit on guys, so Jennifer probably liked that aspect. They have a lovely time in the crater (I would have been scared for fish biting my toes). And they have a good discussion at dinner. Ben clearly realizes the kind of girl she is. She really is a kind and genuine girl, which I think all guys deep down want. Sure the Michelle Moneys are great, but in the end, we want a Molly Malaney. Ben knows this, so he gives Jennifer a rose. Good job Benjy, and great job Jennifer. LYLAS girl, holler at me soon so we can chat.
Alright I'm really hacked off. I just spent like 30 minutes watching and typing my synopsis of the rose ceremony...and somehow I selected the text and deleted it. Definitely an amateur/female move right there, so please forgive me. My re-synopsis probably won't be as good this time around though. Obviously this whole event is about the Evil Uni-Court. Emily is so concerned that she falls into the trap of worrying about the other ladies. Can't do it...it's a downward spiral. Ben even warned her. Certainly we all agree with her, but it probably would have been better for her to just focus on her and Benny's relationship and let the cards fall. And if she doesn't get a rose, THEN take a minute and give him a warning. That's been done before and is the best strategy. Courtney's facial expressions make it seem like she has multiple personalities...perhaps she does (or...they do?) And somehow throughout all of this, MONICA has now become the house therapist! The girl, who during the first episode, we weren't sure which team she was on, or which side of the road she drives on, or if she played softball at PC North in Oklahoma City like Kate did.......now she is the voice of reason. Love it.
Monica does NOT receive a rose at the ceremony. Here's my take: Nicki shouldn't have gotten one, the spark is only a small ash in that relationshp. Emily got lucky and has a chance to redeem herself. Monica's departure is not a surprise. I don't think she was terribly upset, and will likely be calling Blakely when the show is over. Jamie also is dangerously flying low.
Front Runners: Kacie B, Jennifer, Lindzi
Sleeper: Elyse
They should film the Bachelor in Utah for every episode....the state of Utah is like the tv show, only in real life - one man has multiple women all clamering for him. Ben should stay in Utah, and just pick several of them right now, marry them all, and be done with it!
XOXO
Bachelor Wizard
I wonder what Ben and the girls are thinking when they're heading out to a date. I doubt they have any clue what it's going to be...and they're probably just hoping it doesn't involve sky diving or swimming with sharks. Although I think those dates the ones where you really get to know a girl. How are you supposed to see a girl's true feelings in a vineyard or by yourself in a canoe? That is, unless you throw her overboard. That possibly needed to happen here on this date. Rachel and Bean talked about really intimate stuff, like beaver dams and general building construction. It ain't going well...let's put ourselves out of our misery. Cut the ties before they get too snug. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand he blew it. His only hope is for a bear to come along. Doesn't happen though.
The group date is in the great outdoors. I don't really foresee him as Al Boreland/an outdoorsman...especially when he rode up on the horse and said, "today is going to be rad", I guess that's Californian-outdoors-talk. These ladies need a real man....like a blogger. I've got lots of good memories in waders....only difference is mine is always with a large group of men instead of women. I prefer it that way. Side note, everytime we see Monica, she has a sweet hair bun, or sometimes it looks like it's literally tied in a bow, at all times of the day. It didn't look like Courtney's catch was legit...I'll have to check my inside sources. Unless they didn't start filming it until like 10 minutes after she actually hooked it...trout don't just give up like that. AND, they let it die when it was probably in a catch and release area. I hope they got caught by the park ranger.
Nicki Nick is near the bottom of our list. I don't think I see a future with her or the pant-suit jacket that she wore. Her and Monica need the boot. And now Samantha comes in and knocks it out of the park. The look on her face during their conversation can only be described as........uhh whattt? According to my inside sources, Samantha's departure was not because Benny didn't like her....but rather because she was geting a little too close to some (one) of the folks behind the scenes. I believe it...where there's smoke, there's fire. And Courtney's unibrow. Kacie and Benny love each other, she's definitely one of the front runners. You can tell they just get along together and it's not awkward between them.
Who else likes Courtney's facial expressions? They remind me of Jessica Simpson when she sings (see image above). Benny and Jennifer get the other one on one date. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, you go girl. Represent the 405 lady. She's rocking the bikini in the fall, so kudoz to her. I don't start getting my bikini body ready (along with spray tanning) until March. Now this is a real date....let's get some fear and emotion involved. That's when we really get to know each other. And we all know how those harnesses fit on guys, so Jennifer probably liked that aspect. They have a lovely time in the crater (I would have been scared for fish biting my toes). And they have a good discussion at dinner. Ben clearly realizes the kind of girl she is. She really is a kind and genuine girl, which I think all guys deep down want. Sure the Michelle Moneys are great, but in the end, we want a Molly Malaney. Ben knows this, so he gives Jennifer a rose. Good job Benjy, and great job Jennifer. LYLAS girl, holler at me soon so we can chat.
Alright I'm really hacked off. I just spent like 30 minutes watching and typing my synopsis of the rose ceremony...and somehow I selected the text and deleted it. Definitely an amateur/female move right there, so please forgive me. My re-synopsis probably won't be as good this time around though. Obviously this whole event is about the Evil Uni-Court. Emily is so concerned that she falls into the trap of worrying about the other ladies. Can't do it...it's a downward spiral. Ben even warned her. Certainly we all agree with her, but it probably would have been better for her to just focus on her and Benny's relationship and let the cards fall. And if she doesn't get a rose, THEN take a minute and give him a warning. That's been done before and is the best strategy. Courtney's facial expressions make it seem like she has multiple personalities...perhaps she does (or...they do?) And somehow throughout all of this, MONICA has now become the house therapist! The girl, who during the first episode, we weren't sure which team she was on, or which side of the road she drives on, or if she played softball at PC North in Oklahoma City like Kate did.......now she is the voice of reason. Love it.
Monica does NOT receive a rose at the ceremony. Here's my take: Nicki shouldn't have gotten one, the spark is only a small ash in that relationshp. Emily got lucky and has a chance to redeem herself. Monica's departure is not a surprise. I don't think she was terribly upset, and will likely be calling Blakely when the show is over. Jamie also is dangerously flying low.
Front Runners: Kacie B, Jennifer, Lindzi
Sleeper: Elyse
They should film the Bachelor in Utah for every episode....the state of Utah is like the tv show, only in real life - one man has multiple women all clamering for him. Ben should stay in Utah, and just pick several of them right now, marry them all, and be done with it!
XOXO
Bachelor Wizard
Monday, January 16, 2012
Love you Shawty
We're back boys and girls. Valentine's day is quickly approaching, which always draws me to this blog. Love is in the air, birds are chirping, buns are in the oven (Lord help me). Let's get after it:
First date - Emily...golden gate bridge date. big whoop...cry me a river about heights. ben slobbers while kissing. I semi-like Emily, although she looks just like Kendra (Hugh Hefner's Kendra). Little heavy on the makeup, so we need to get an all natural look before we can make a solid decision.
Group date - skiing in San Fran. Kacie B is a circus skiier, but stole the show with her butt-skiing. Haven't ever tried that before. Kacie also knocks it out later that night. Ben really likes her. Appears their connection is a little more unique than the other girls'. Blakely is a little scoundrel...typical theta. Catty and just wants all the attention...none of the other girls like to be around her! TAK lady, TAK (that aint kappa). She obviously did not remember to KIPMIF.
Brittney makes a sudden departure, which I don't think anyone balked at? Didn't really know she was here with us on the show, but we wish her the best of luck. Let's choke out the weeds so we can get to that final rose boys and girls.
Rachel gets the group date rose, not a huge surprise since she was one of the few that they even showed him spending time with. She's ok...not real keen on the deep voice but maybe Ben's into that sort of thing. Me...I'm more into the softballers with the short hair. Shoulda seen Kate in high school...
Lindzi gets a one-on-one date with Benjamin in San Fran. She got the very first, first impression rose, so you'd think she's high on his list. She's middle of the road for me, I'd say. they have a nice little date at city hall...and yet again Ben appears to be a slobbery smoocher. I would not accept that ladies...someone needs to educate him. Lindzi gets the million dollar question - why are you still single? People (guys and girls) tell me all the time they wish i was still single. But my baby's mama locked her claws on me early and firmly...like a pit bull on a wild pig. Quote of the night: "Babe, welcome to dumpsville, population you"...ha! What a way to break up with someone. At least Lindzi's ex tried to be comedic and lighten the blow. I'll have to remember that one.
Our local favorite Jennifer gets after Benjamin...she lays it out there. And Ben-jamin rewards it with a lovely compliment of her being the best kisser. After getting the final rose, that's the next best prize!!! Third best prize is the wardrobe. that's yet to be determined. Courtney is obviously the season's drama queen and standard whacko...just like Rozlyn, Michelle from Jake Pavelka's season, Elizabeth Kitt, and Michelle Money in year's passed. Although I forgive Michelle Money now, as we've heard good things from some of her fellow costars. Courtney is obviously attractive, however she does have a little uni-brow squeaking in there in the middle. She's a few brows away looking Kazakhstanian.
Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawty Shawntel....my girl. I still don't like your name, but love you girl. Curvalicious. I could spend a few more minutes on your hair, but you're still a doll. This was a great surprise for us. This was like a good ole fashioned KKG/Theta fight. I was hoping for some slaps to be thrown. Unfortunately all we had were insults. We all know Shawty is a sweet angel. And all these tricks be frontin' on her. Back off. If Ben had a brain, he would have kicked out about 5 of these broads (ie... Erika and Jaclyn) and kept Shawty in one of their places. Unfortunately, he goes for damage control instead and let's her go. I bet we see Benjy and Shawty hollerin after the season is over. Just watch.
Rose Ceremony - Courtney - idiot. Gives models a bad name. Makes us all think they're unintelligent...oh wait. Kacie - Great. Elyse - Not bad. Jamie - are you serious. Jennifer - Good. Casey S - who are you. Blakely - skeletor (in a nice way?). Monica - producers' choice. Nikki - snoozer. Samantha - don't recognize you, did you sneak in with Shawty. Erika - good strategy, I would have tried maybe throwing up also. Gotta set yourself apart though. I like it. Jaclyn - sorry hun. LYLAS. And Shawty - you got guts girl. Love you...stay in touch. Tweet me.
Wow...what an episode boys and girls. Lots of emotions flying around. I really shouldn't be watching this while I'm pregnant...not good for my hormones. The good news is, we're one episode closer to me taking Chris Harrison's job. The bad news...Shawty got hurt again. Poor girl. Benjy made some good decisions otherwise. He did what he needed to do. Here's the synopsis:
Contenders:
Kacie B. - if she doesn't win it, my vote for the next Bachelorette
Jennifer
Elyse
Lindzi
Catfish (bottom dwellers, next to go):
Jamie
Monica
XOXO
The Bachelor Wizard
First date - Emily...golden gate bridge date. big whoop...cry me a river about heights. ben slobbers while kissing. I semi-like Emily, although she looks just like Kendra (Hugh Hefner's Kendra). Little heavy on the makeup, so we need to get an all natural look before we can make a solid decision.
Group date - skiing in San Fran. Kacie B is a circus skiier, but stole the show with her butt-skiing. Haven't ever tried that before. Kacie also knocks it out later that night. Ben really likes her. Appears their connection is a little more unique than the other girls'. Blakely is a little scoundrel...typical theta. Catty and just wants all the attention...none of the other girls like to be around her! TAK lady, TAK (that aint kappa). She obviously did not remember to KIPMIF.
Brittney makes a sudden departure, which I don't think anyone balked at? Didn't really know she was here with us on the show, but we wish her the best of luck. Let's choke out the weeds so we can get to that final rose boys and girls.
Rachel gets the group date rose, not a huge surprise since she was one of the few that they even showed him spending time with. She's ok...not real keen on the deep voice but maybe Ben's into that sort of thing. Me...I'm more into the softballers with the short hair. Shoulda seen Kate in high school...
Lindzi gets a one-on-one date with Benjamin in San Fran. She got the very first, first impression rose, so you'd think she's high on his list. She's middle of the road for me, I'd say. they have a nice little date at city hall...and yet again Ben appears to be a slobbery smoocher. I would not accept that ladies...someone needs to educate him. Lindzi gets the million dollar question - why are you still single? People (guys and girls) tell me all the time they wish i was still single. But my baby's mama locked her claws on me early and firmly...like a pit bull on a wild pig. Quote of the night: "Babe, welcome to dumpsville, population you"...ha! What a way to break up with someone. At least Lindzi's ex tried to be comedic and lighten the blow. I'll have to remember that one.
Our local favorite Jennifer gets after Benjamin...she lays it out there. And Ben-jamin rewards it with a lovely compliment of her being the best kisser. After getting the final rose, that's the next best prize!!! Third best prize is the wardrobe. that's yet to be determined. Courtney is obviously the season's drama queen and standard whacko...just like Rozlyn, Michelle from Jake Pavelka's season, Elizabeth Kitt, and Michelle Money in year's passed. Although I forgive Michelle Money now, as we've heard good things from some of her fellow costars. Courtney is obviously attractive, however she does have a little uni-brow squeaking in there in the middle. She's a few brows away looking Kazakhstanian.
Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawty Shawntel....my girl. I still don't like your name, but love you girl. Curvalicious. I could spend a few more minutes on your hair, but you're still a doll. This was a great surprise for us. This was like a good ole fashioned KKG/Theta fight. I was hoping for some slaps to be thrown. Unfortunately all we had were insults. We all know Shawty is a sweet angel. And all these tricks be frontin' on her. Back off. If Ben had a brain, he would have kicked out about 5 of these broads (ie... Erika and Jaclyn) and kept Shawty in one of their places. Unfortunately, he goes for damage control instead and let's her go. I bet we see Benjy and Shawty hollerin after the season is over. Just watch.
Rose Ceremony - Courtney - idiot. Gives models a bad name. Makes us all think they're unintelligent...oh wait. Kacie - Great. Elyse - Not bad. Jamie - are you serious. Jennifer - Good. Casey S - who are you. Blakely - skeletor (in a nice way?). Monica - producers' choice. Nikki - snoozer. Samantha - don't recognize you, did you sneak in with Shawty. Erika - good strategy, I would have tried maybe throwing up also. Gotta set yourself apart though. I like it. Jaclyn - sorry hun. LYLAS. And Shawty - you got guts girl. Love you...stay in touch. Tweet me.
Wow...what an episode boys and girls. Lots of emotions flying around. I really shouldn't be watching this while I'm pregnant...not good for my hormones. The good news is, we're one episode closer to me taking Chris Harrison's job. The bad news...Shawty got hurt again. Poor girl. Benjy made some good decisions otherwise. He did what he needed to do. Here's the synopsis:
Contenders:
Kacie B. - if she doesn't win it, my vote for the next Bachelorette
Jennifer
Elyse
Lindzi
Catfish (bottom dwellers, next to go):
Jamie
Monica
XOXO
The Bachelor Wizard
Monday, May 23, 2011
Week 1 – Introductions (probably not the best time to get krunk)
Aaaaaaaaaaaaah boys and girls. We’re back. I missed all of you. I hope you missed me. But now daddy is back. We’ve been pacified by posers such as American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance Season 12, as well as the NBA playoffs. They’ve simply been the appetizer to our main course. Finally, the real programming is here.
Now, let’s get some things out of the way. As we all know, I am not a huge fan of the Carney, aka Ashley H. There’s nothing that she’s done per say, she’s a nice gal I’m sure. But I think we all agree that there could have been some more exciting/appealing choices for our viewing pleasure this season. But, it is what it is and the Carney is just like the rest of us – circling this globe looking for love, the same way Rick Mitchell searches out for supercells.
This story is not about our own personal desires or dreams, even though some of us email the producers on a weekly basis asking for guest appearances. It’s about two hearts becoming one. There is another circus worker out there for Ashley H, maybe it’s the dog-face man, maybe it’s the lion tamer, maybe it’s the bearded lady. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that we have all received a front row ticket to Barnum Bailey’s Circus and let’s sit back, relax, and eat some peanuts.
So, what matters this first week? Not much, other than we all get make our preliminary decisions on who’s taking home the gold and silver. So here are my top five picks for a life filled with circus peanuts (in no particular order):
-West: seems like a genuinely nice guy, has had a horrible past, so we will see if that allows him to open up for a new relationship.
-Ryan P: received the first impression rose, so they always get an edge up. Also seems like a nice guy, however I wonder if this fellow is going to be a little to chippy for the Carney? It’s nice to be positive, but ya know, every now and then we all just want to be a Debbie downer.
-Constantine: I’m only choosing this long haired silly goose because it looks like one of the dudes with the long hair ends up staying in the game for quite a while and gets one of the destination dates.
-JP: You could tell the Carney genuinely likes this guy. Seems like a down to earth guy, hopefully he hasn’t shaved his head due to early age balding.
-Blake: this guy’s a dentist…is that even really fair??? You know the Carney is going to proposition him just so that she can have a job out of dental school. Actually, she probably wouldn’t even have to work. So yes, the wheels are turning inside her head very quickly.
The Thunder just lost. Unbelievable. First Haley gets booted off AI, then the Thunder poop themselves two games in a row, what’s next…the cancelation of Glee? Doubt it. At least we can count on that. So let’s get this out in the open here – obviously Bentley (dumb name by the way….sorry if any of you preggers chicks out there were considering using it) is this season’s villain. Hard to believe that Ashley received warning about him, and she’s not heeding it. Apparently Michelle Money from last season knows Bentley’s ex-wife and Michelle emailed the Carney and gave her a heads up. Apparently Bentley is an idiot and either didn’t watch last season, or just doesn’t understand of the concept of this series. During his “get to know me” interview…he said he hoped the bachelorette was Emily….whatttt??? He might as well have wished it to be Trista Sutter. She probably would come back. What a db. And then, on camera, he’s as dumb as Wes the country singer, and admits that he’s not even attracted to her, knows it wouldn’t work, and again wishes it would’ve been Emily. And the rose ceremony was soooooooo suspenseful. I was really thinking that the carney was going to choose the Canadian over Bentley. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight. It was such a shock. Nooooooooooooooooooot. The poor Carney apparently doesn’t figure it out until down the road, which sucks for her, but I guess it will help keep our attention this season.
Peace be with all of you, and remember, don’t look behind you, because I won’t be there. Don’t look ahead of you, because I won’t be there either. Just look right beside you, because that’s where I’ll always be. Sometimes the greatest conversations are the ones that never have any words in them. And don’t eat the yellow snow.
XOXO
The Bachelorette Wizard
Monday, March 14, 2011
Week 11 - Emily is...WINNING (Charlie Sheen)
Ok people. I have an unbelievably great deal of emotion flowing through my body right now. I'm a little tongue tied to be honest - sitting here and looking at Molly Malaney has flabergasted my typing fingers, so forgive me. Love is a marathon, not a sprint. We just completed miles 24 through 26.2...our legs are cramping, our hips are aching, we have blisters on our feet, and it's the greatest feeling in the world. There's nothing else like it on earth. The Bachelor(ette) creates a feeling of love like we only experience twice a year. Sure, there are you naysayers out there who like to front on me and Chris Harrison, but to you, I say...people get divorced at a 50% rate in the unfortunate world we live in anyway...and that is all the while having months and years to "get to know" each other. So maybe 3 months is something that can actually work. It sure doesn't seem like it hurts their chances, now does it? Does it always work? Obviously no. But tonight we saw three great examples of how it CAN work...even after the disaster of a relationship that Jason and Molly went through. So all of you negative Nancy's out there who say it can't work, it won't work, it doesn't work...you all just go back to watching Judge Judy late at night while you lie in bed surrounded by your 17 cats that you own and let sleep with you and pee in the bed with you. If that offends you, then you probably need to get rid of all your cats. Just sayin....we'll probably see you on Hoarders before long too.
Our journey with Brad and Emily may have come to a close...however their journey has just begun. Now, they need our thoughts and prayers, especially with that kid of Emily's. Joking, but kind of serious. I'd like everyone to take a look back to our very first BLOG. I predicted that Emily had a great chance of being in the finals, and perhaps WINNING (Charlie Sheen voice). She was my only girl with that sort of prediction. I feel that Nostradamus has spoken again. Chris Harrison comes to me in my dreams. I see dead people. It's probably a good thing that Emily was as exciting as paint drying while on the show - otherwise this "competition" would have been a cake walk for her. Her boringness at least gave us hope that someone else may steal Brad's heart. If only Michelle wouldn't have been such a kook. And if only Shawntel would have had a "normal" job...like a maid, or a cook (ya know, typical female jobs) then I think she could have been there in the end. But, alas, Emily's angelic features outshined her lack of persona. Loved her new hairdo tonight by the way - what it is with these girls and AFTER they get back from the show? Their hair looks way better. Maybe it's because it's the firs time they've ever seen themselves on camera. I usually film a biography on myself about once a week, and then review/critique it myself just to make sure everything is in good standing. Some of you ladies should try that out, it does wonders for your style. Oh and yes I do also have videos of myself auditioning for Chris Harrison's job, even though there have not been any requests for those tapes. I also frequently unbutton my pants button after I gorge myself at restaurants, I highly recommend trying that.
So, how did we feel about their "after the rose" episode? This episode is much more meaningful than the actual proposal episode, which is usually just a bunch of fluff (unless you're Jason Mesnick's season). During the main episode tonight though, I did think Brad was a little cry baby when Emily simply was reminding him that having a kid is not always fun (heck...when IS it fun???) Brad got quite defensive and I think he overreacted, do you? Emily was simply making sure he understood everything it takes to be a parent, and he then assumes that she's questioning his dedication. I think we saw his feminism coming out tonight - probably a reason he's still single. But hopefully that's only a once every few months type of deal. I do think it was probably good for them to "fight" a little though - I really think that couples don't get to see the real sides of each other until they have some good fights. My lovely bride and I agreed upon that belief way back in our teenage years and decided we would get to know each other VERY well and VERY often. But, I know today that she's worth fighting for, because I've already done it. I would fight and argue with her every day of my life if it meant still being able to be her husband, and I hope Bremily finds that same feeling.
Emily obviously has some commitment issues, which is scary because Brad usually is the one with those. But maybe this is good for them. Maybe this is what Brad needs - someone that HE has to reassure that everything's ok. I think we'd all agree that they seem to be in love. And it's good to hear they actually broke up and postponed the wedding, I actually think that's really good. Like Brad said, it goes to show that they are a real relationship and not in a fantasy land. Although I think ABC paying hundreds of thousands on your wedding is pretty much a fantasy so he needs to consider that side of things too. Am I guaranteeing that they will make it? No...but let's face it, they've got a much better chance that Jake and Vienna (ha, what a fiasco that was). And I think they both realize that it will take time...just like Ali and Robert-o have.
[Imagine the song "Marry Me" by Train is playing as we read this final paragraph]....As we draw to a close (and only have a little over two months until we see the Bachelorette - PRAY it's not the Carnie!!!) I think we can learn several important life lessons from this season. First, 2nd chances should be granted. Second, Brad runs like a girl. Third, you apparently can give yourself a black eye while sleeping. And fourth, and most importantly, "I believe...love will always find a way". Always remember my Bachelorites...every rose has its thorns, but it doesn't make it smell any less sweet. I love you all like Brad loves the word "please".
XOXO
The Bachelor Wizard
Our journey with Brad and Emily may have come to a close...however their journey has just begun. Now, they need our thoughts and prayers, especially with that kid of Emily's. Joking, but kind of serious. I'd like everyone to take a look back to our very first BLOG. I predicted that Emily had a great chance of being in the finals, and perhaps WINNING (Charlie Sheen voice). She was my only girl with that sort of prediction. I feel that Nostradamus has spoken again. Chris Harrison comes to me in my dreams. I see dead people. It's probably a good thing that Emily was as exciting as paint drying while on the show - otherwise this "competition" would have been a cake walk for her. Her boringness at least gave us hope that someone else may steal Brad's heart. If only Michelle wouldn't have been such a kook. And if only Shawntel would have had a "normal" job...like a maid, or a cook (ya know, typical female jobs) then I think she could have been there in the end. But, alas, Emily's angelic features outshined her lack of persona. Loved her new hairdo tonight by the way - what it is with these girls and AFTER they get back from the show? Their hair looks way better. Maybe it's because it's the firs time they've ever seen themselves on camera. I usually film a biography on myself about once a week, and then review/critique it myself just to make sure everything is in good standing. Some of you ladies should try that out, it does wonders for your style. Oh and yes I do also have videos of myself auditioning for Chris Harrison's job, even though there have not been any requests for those tapes. I also frequently unbutton my pants button after I gorge myself at restaurants, I highly recommend trying that.
So, how did we feel about their "after the rose" episode? This episode is much more meaningful than the actual proposal episode, which is usually just a bunch of fluff (unless you're Jason Mesnick's season). During the main episode tonight though, I did think Brad was a little cry baby when Emily simply was reminding him that having a kid is not always fun (heck...when IS it fun???) Brad got quite defensive and I think he overreacted, do you? Emily was simply making sure he understood everything it takes to be a parent, and he then assumes that she's questioning his dedication. I think we saw his feminism coming out tonight - probably a reason he's still single. But hopefully that's only a once every few months type of deal. I do think it was probably good for them to "fight" a little though - I really think that couples don't get to see the real sides of each other until they have some good fights. My lovely bride and I agreed upon that belief way back in our teenage years and decided we would get to know each other VERY well and VERY often. But, I know today that she's worth fighting for, because I've already done it. I would fight and argue with her every day of my life if it meant still being able to be her husband, and I hope Bremily finds that same feeling.
Emily obviously has some commitment issues, which is scary because Brad usually is the one with those. But maybe this is good for them. Maybe this is what Brad needs - someone that HE has to reassure that everything's ok. I think we'd all agree that they seem to be in love. And it's good to hear they actually broke up and postponed the wedding, I actually think that's really good. Like Brad said, it goes to show that they are a real relationship and not in a fantasy land. Although I think ABC paying hundreds of thousands on your wedding is pretty much a fantasy so he needs to consider that side of things too. Am I guaranteeing that they will make it? No...but let's face it, they've got a much better chance that Jake and Vienna (ha, what a fiasco that was). And I think they both realize that it will take time...just like Ali and Robert-o have.
[Imagine the song "Marry Me" by Train is playing as we read this final paragraph]....As we draw to a close (and only have a little over two months until we see the Bachelorette - PRAY it's not the Carnie!!!) I think we can learn several important life lessons from this season. First, 2nd chances should be granted. Second, Brad runs like a girl. Third, you apparently can give yourself a black eye while sleeping. And fourth, and most importantly, "I believe...love will always find a way". Always remember my Bachelorites...every rose has its thorns, but it doesn't make it smell any less sweet. I love you all like Brad loves the word "please".
XOXO
The Bachelor Wizard
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Week 10 - Guard and Protect your Hearts
Well it's one of our favorite weeks - all the losers come back and get to air out all the dirty laundry. I apologize I wasn't able to get this published last night, I ended up having to get some work done instead so that I can pay for the internet that allows me to write this little piece of Heaven. Unfortunately, this episode wasn't NEARLY as juicy as Jake's season...when Rozlyn was caught wrestling around with one of the show's staff members while they were filming. There were A LOT of bombs dropped during that episode. We may not ever see one as hot as that one, however it's still always nice to see all the drama that the whole group brings together as a whole. Think about it, when these ladies are in the house together, 95% of their time is spent split up, in different cliques. Each girl is going to hang out with other girls that they get along with. But when brought back for this episode, all the girls must face each other and duke it out. It's a beautiful thing. Tonight's summary will be shorter, basically I just want to go through and hit some of the highlights, or lowlights, that I gathered from the show...
Increased Popularity:
Michelle - sure, go back and read nearly every week's blog and most of the press was negative towards Michelle...but that was mostly just due to her "plan of action" towards Brad as well as her clearly not being the woman he needs to marry. Based on interviews with some of the other girls, many of them said Michelle was actually very nice during the show and was kind to them. I don't necessarily doubt that - just about ANY time she was being whacko was when she was alone, just with the camera, or with Brad. Very rarely did she do anything crazy when she was with the other girls. Now, don't get me wrong, I think her and Brad were NOT meant for each other...and ultimately that's what led me to portray her negatively, but after seeing her tonight, it was easier to like her. It is hard to say what her true personality is, however we at least got to see a more sensitive side of her tonight, as well as got to hear her acknowledge that she and Brad were not meant for each other...which I think is all any of us ever wanted to hear this season anyway.
Ashley S - no one ever had a bad thing to say about Ash S anyways, but tonight we just got to see a little more of this sweet southern belle. She had a horribly emotional departure, which was hard to watch, and she obviously was still a little saddened by how Brad broke the news to her, but we also did NOT see her act rudely or confront Brad in a harsh manner like many chicks would've. She was polite, sweet, and southern...can't get much better than that.
Britt - the reason Britt's popularity increased was because she talked more on this episode than she did the entire season, that's pretty much it.
Shawntel - our favorite girl went from being a 9.9 to a 10 just by showing up tonight. I don't even think I heard her say a word, however simply by her being present...anyone with a brain and a heart grew more fond of her.
Madison - I think we all gained a solid respect for her after the way she departed the show early. However, getting to see her just be "normal" again last night solidified our recent opinions of her. I still think she is in love with Edward Cullen and that is what ultimately came between her and Brad. But we will never know...
The Carnie Ashley - I hate to say it...but her hair did look a lot better. She went with the pageant queen style hairdo all season which was so darn cute back in 1996, but just wasn't working for us at this point in time. Basically she could've shaved her head and it would've probably looked better, but I actually did like the brunette look. She was still squirrelly though and I'm assuming she'll resume her job back with the circuis any day now...
The Divas we never knew:
Jackie - dad gumit Jackie...I stuck up for you all season and then you go and let me down. Sure she was upset with Michelle and possibly had the reasons to be mad. But as Ashley (the good Ashley) stated...NO GUY WANTS TO SEE GIRLS BE DRAMATIC. It is unnnnnnnnattractive. That is what led to both Raichel and Melissa's demise...although I tend to think that the pizza and onion comments by Melissa is what got her booted. Jack was upset with the stuff Michelle said off-camera, and yes I understand why. However, even after putting in her two cents...which is one cent more than what women should even be allowed...she still continued on about it. I had a great idea last night - Brad should get to watch this episode and then decide if he wants to perhaps bring 1 select girl BACK onto the show. I really think you get to see what the girls are really like after they come back and have to deal with each other all over again.
Stacey - c'mon sister, you really weren't even on the show that long. You can't go around making statements about how people raise their kids and not get flack for it. That's an area that you should know you don't intrude. You want to talk about me? That's fine. But don't you ever talk about how I've raised my german shepherd. Otherwise I will give her the german code word and she will kill you. Stacey should've known that, but apparently was not a part of a sorority that instilled those values. I recommend Kappa Kappa Gamma at the U of Oklahoma (kite and key, blue and blue ladies) for anyone on the search. Stacey probably went to OSU and just didn't know any better.
Melissa and Raichel - again, seeing as though Melissa and Raichel's feud was one of the "top" stories for this episode, it goes to show that there really wasn't THAT much for us to work with this season. For whatever reason, Lissa and Raich just didn't get along. Big whoop, who really cares. Neither of them had a chance as far as I'm concerned. Raichel seems to think that Lissa blew her chances with Brad...I guess Raichel still doesn't know what Emily looks like. And Melissa...poor girl...just not sure how she was even on the show. Most likely just so that they had a few more blondes to mix in with all the brunettes. But she was bad news bears from day one and unfortunately we had to relive her saga last night. At least Brad picked up on it quickly and spared us much agony.
So that's it for the most part - no crazy bombs were dropped...no one provided any new, hot topics...but at least one of them dyed their hair. That's always a headline. Now the question is...Who will be the next Bachelorette? Rumors are saying Ashley the Carnie, which I reeeeeeeeeally hope doesn't happen, even after she got her hair did. I just can't handle it. But, it makes sense. She's probably finished school by now, and this would be a perfect time for her to do something like this if she were going to do it, before she started a real job. Who else would it be? Michelle? I think there's too much disdain for her out there still. Shawntel? Unfortunately too pretty and perfect. Ashley S? She would get my vote. Let me know your thoughts.
Next week is big, huge. We finally get to see if Brad is committed, or if he's going to stab us all in the hearts again with a dull knife and not pick either of them. That would actually be pretty funny...think about how expensive his therapy bill would be after that though. Well, in the beautiful words of Casey from Ali's season, "Here's my heart...jump in and stay a while (oh and by the way I went and got a tattoo of you on my wrist during the show, hope that doesn't freak you out)".
XOXO
Gossip Girl...I mean,
Bachelor Wizard
Increased Popularity:
Michelle - sure, go back and read nearly every week's blog and most of the press was negative towards Michelle...but that was mostly just due to her "plan of action" towards Brad as well as her clearly not being the woman he needs to marry. Based on interviews with some of the other girls, many of them said Michelle was actually very nice during the show and was kind to them. I don't necessarily doubt that - just about ANY time she was being whacko was when she was alone, just with the camera, or with Brad. Very rarely did she do anything crazy when she was with the other girls. Now, don't get me wrong, I think her and Brad were NOT meant for each other...and ultimately that's what led me to portray her negatively, but after seeing her tonight, it was easier to like her. It is hard to say what her true personality is, however we at least got to see a more sensitive side of her tonight, as well as got to hear her acknowledge that she and Brad were not meant for each other...which I think is all any of us ever wanted to hear this season anyway.
Ashley S - no one ever had a bad thing to say about Ash S anyways, but tonight we just got to see a little more of this sweet southern belle. She had a horribly emotional departure, which was hard to watch, and she obviously was still a little saddened by how Brad broke the news to her, but we also did NOT see her act rudely or confront Brad in a harsh manner like many chicks would've. She was polite, sweet, and southern...can't get much better than that.
Britt - the reason Britt's popularity increased was because she talked more on this episode than she did the entire season, that's pretty much it.
Shawntel - our favorite girl went from being a 9.9 to a 10 just by showing up tonight. I don't even think I heard her say a word, however simply by her being present...anyone with a brain and a heart grew more fond of her.
Madison - I think we all gained a solid respect for her after the way she departed the show early. However, getting to see her just be "normal" again last night solidified our recent opinions of her. I still think she is in love with Edward Cullen and that is what ultimately came between her and Brad. But we will never know...
The Carnie Ashley - I hate to say it...but her hair did look a lot better. She went with the pageant queen style hairdo all season which was so darn cute back in 1996, but just wasn't working for us at this point in time. Basically she could've shaved her head and it would've probably looked better, but I actually did like the brunette look. She was still squirrelly though and I'm assuming she'll resume her job back with the circuis any day now...
The Divas we never knew:
Jackie - dad gumit Jackie...I stuck up for you all season and then you go and let me down. Sure she was upset with Michelle and possibly had the reasons to be mad. But as Ashley (the good Ashley) stated...NO GUY WANTS TO SEE GIRLS BE DRAMATIC. It is unnnnnnnnattractive. That is what led to both Raichel and Melissa's demise...although I tend to think that the pizza and onion comments by Melissa is what got her booted. Jack was upset with the stuff Michelle said off-camera, and yes I understand why. However, even after putting in her two cents...which is one cent more than what women should even be allowed...she still continued on about it. I had a great idea last night - Brad should get to watch this episode and then decide if he wants to perhaps bring 1 select girl BACK onto the show. I really think you get to see what the girls are really like after they come back and have to deal with each other all over again.
Stacey - c'mon sister, you really weren't even on the show that long. You can't go around making statements about how people raise their kids and not get flack for it. That's an area that you should know you don't intrude. You want to talk about me? That's fine. But don't you ever talk about how I've raised my german shepherd. Otherwise I will give her the german code word and she will kill you. Stacey should've known that, but apparently was not a part of a sorority that instilled those values. I recommend Kappa Kappa Gamma at the U of Oklahoma (kite and key, blue and blue ladies) for anyone on the search. Stacey probably went to OSU and just didn't know any better.
Melissa and Raichel - again, seeing as though Melissa and Raichel's feud was one of the "top" stories for this episode, it goes to show that there really wasn't THAT much for us to work with this season. For whatever reason, Lissa and Raich just didn't get along. Big whoop, who really cares. Neither of them had a chance as far as I'm concerned. Raichel seems to think that Lissa blew her chances with Brad...I guess Raichel still doesn't know what Emily looks like. And Melissa...poor girl...just not sure how she was even on the show. Most likely just so that they had a few more blondes to mix in with all the brunettes. But she was bad news bears from day one and unfortunately we had to relive her saga last night. At least Brad picked up on it quickly and spared us much agony.
So that's it for the most part - no crazy bombs were dropped...no one provided any new, hot topics...but at least one of them dyed their hair. That's always a headline. Now the question is...Who will be the next Bachelorette? Rumors are saying Ashley the Carnie, which I reeeeeeeeeally hope doesn't happen, even after she got her hair did. I just can't handle it. But, it makes sense. She's probably finished school by now, and this would be a perfect time for her to do something like this if she were going to do it, before she started a real job. Who else would it be? Michelle? I think there's too much disdain for her out there still. Shawntel? Unfortunately too pretty and perfect. Ashley S? She would get my vote. Let me know your thoughts.
Next week is big, huge. We finally get to see if Brad is committed, or if he's going to stab us all in the hearts again with a dull knife and not pick either of them. That would actually be pretty funny...think about how expensive his therapy bill would be after that though. Well, in the beautiful words of Casey from Ali's season, "Here's my heart...jump in and stay a while (oh and by the way I went and got a tattoo of you on my wrist during the show, hope that doesn't freak you out)".
XOXO
Bachelor Wizard
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