South Africa…land of enchantment…the country of love…founded by the Germans in 1907, South Africa is not only a general description of the continent, it’s also a country – for all of you ladies out there. The capital of South Africa is Bangkok, which is where our story takes place this week. Now that we have the background information out of the way, let’s take a wild safari ride into the wilderness of LOVE. Lions, tigers, and Chantal’s Jorts….OH MY! This location, which is actually located in northern Africa, is quite unique for the show. Let’s face it, these girls aren’t typically made for mosquitoes and hot weather. But, I felt like they all 3 made the best of it. The episode was most likely filmed in late November or early December, which is summer time in South Africa. I can’t imagine how uncomfortable some of these dates were. I hope Brad wore britches underneath those trousers of his…..on second thought….I hope he didn’t =0 Brad gets some special one on one time with each of the ladies this week and it’s time he starts to ask some serious questions. I think he and Chanty really need to get into a fight to see what they’re both really like. Because right now, it seems like Chanty just says whatever is easiest, and she’s probably had the “smoothest” road thus far. Emily, I think, makes up for her lack of excitement by just looking like a beautiful little angel during each of her appearances in this episode. And she also does actually show some new feelings which was a pleasant surprise. And then there’s the Carnie…oh Ashley…you’ve never done anything directly to spite me, however I must say it was nice seeing you exit. Brad finally got on the same page as me.
Chantal – little miss Chanty struggles with her wardrobe sometimes…which is weird because she’s obviously got money in the family. Several episodes back, she killed a cheetah and wore it during the rose ceremony cocktail party. When they went on their safari, I was really surprised the lions didn’t seek revenge for their killed friend and attack Chanty. Then, today, she decides to rock the jorts – which isn’t usually a big deal, as even I like to wear a nice pear of jorts every now and then, especially ones where that have the cargo pockets for my hammer or other tools. But Chanty takes it to another level by adding the belt and then the mid-drift style shirt. I’m not a female wardrobe consultant like Ali was, but I’m pretty sure girls aren’t supposed to wear belts with jorts. And it’s probably safe to say that Chanty’s jorts weren’t falling off of her (nothing wrong with that….girls with curves need to show off what their mother’s gave them). But just sayin’. Again, on their date, I feel like they sort of just float along. Right now, I think Brad could say, “Hey, I’ve got an idea – let’s fly to the moon and try to start a colony up there…just us two.” And Chanty would respond back with 100% seriousness, “Whatever you want to do…I’m totally cool with it.” I do think she’s going to get the final rose, although Emily did really earn some brownie points in my cookbook tonight. I think Chanty has just said the right things and made Brad feel comfortable around her and she makes him smile, which I guess is important…
The best question that was brought up during our watch party was, “Where in the world does Chantal go to the bathroom during the middle of the night (while in the fantasy suite)?” B-rabbit could just simply pee over the edge of the tree house, but Chanty is up a creek. Maybe they had a hole cut in the floor of the tree house that we didn’t see. But it sure made you think about it.
Emily – she FINALLY is able to open up a little bit during their date and tells B-rad that she’s falling in love with him. I never thought we’d see the day when that happened. I honestly thought she was going to go the whole season without saying anything about the L-word. But I think she made some big steps tonight. Emily also looks super foxy in her little safari outfit. She pulled off the jorts a little better than Chianti did. Team Bremily face some tough questions, which I think are very important for them to ask each other. Brad inquires about whether or not little Ricky Bobby is ready for someone like him to be around, and Emily then asks if B-rad is ready to be a dad to a 5 year old. I think they both answered appropriately, and again Emily showed some emotion that we haven’t seen the entire season during their convo. Even the elephants loved it when they started kissing.
All season I’ve wondered how Emy would respond to the fantasy suite invitation. I think I’ve only seen 1 girl turn down the offer…Korie from Jake’s season. And kudos to her for doing so. I loved her by the way. I think Emy is the same kind of girl as Korie…and she wants to make it clear she’s not a dirty harlot, which is probably the last description we all have for her. But I think she probably realized how important their time away from the cameras might be. So she hesitantly accepts. Let’s just assume they kept it PG rated and played jungle monopoly all night. I initially thought Emily was going to go home tonight, because all good things must come to an end. I thought the walls that have been between them in weeks passed might become too much tonight, but she proved me wrong. She pulled a Philly fake out on me. She followed her heart, and after seeing her tonight, I’ve shifted my momentum and sure wish that B-Rabbit would pick her. I think he could deal with that dullness in exchange for those looks and that accent =) Not to mention, he also told Emily that he was also falling in love with her too – something that he hasn’t said to any of the other girls all season. If he DOESN’T pick Emily, how’s his future fiancé going to feel when they go back and watch this episode? I have a feeling Bradley is going to try and nix that idea.
Carnley – (Ashley)….aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah Thank God. I must say I am not disappointed this happened. Ashley and Brad were just on different pages…and I think it all started when producers were listing Ashley as a “Dentist” on her profession in the beginning, when she’s still in school. I think this probably really bothered Brad and he saw the dishonesty surrounding her. If her “tv occupation” isn’t up front, what else about her is fake? Is her name even Ashley? Did the producers really find her working at a carnival in updated Pennsylvania? Has she really had a forehead implant? We will never really know all of the answers to these questions. And frankly, we don’t need to. All we need to know is that Carnley has her sights set on this “dentist” occupation so deeply that she doesn’t even mention the idea of moving to Austin when he asks her about future plans. I think that’s where her demise really began tonight. Brad just needed ooooooooooone little snag and he took advantage of it. I mean was it really a decision tonight? Her date was so dang awkward, it was just like a piece of art being painted in front of our eyes. One of those foreign paintings that you have no idea what the interpretation is supposed to be…where they just like splatter paint on the canvas…that’s how her date went tonight. Brad should have led her down to the river and accidentally pushed her in and seen if there were any crocs around. But that probably would have resulted in a law suit so instead we got stuck with the typical exit. Somehow Ashley acted surprised, she must not have been paying attention to their date. But it’s been a long time coming, and finally we are all FREE!!!
So our journey to South Africa ended up with good things happening for us all. It’s just a shame that Carnley took the place of a few of the other girls who could’ve still been there, but whatev. Next week – Chianti and Emily get to meet Brad’s family in Cape Town, which was founded by the African Americans during the Great Depression. Lots of history there. Let’s just hope Brad’s twin is there and they try to pull another stunt like they did a few years back and have his brother fill in Brad’s place during a cocktail party and see which girls noticed. That’s what I’m talking about. Until then, all you ladies out there, please brush up on your South African history so that you’ll understand everything I’m talking about next week. And remember, a rose without all its petals is still a flower…just an ugly one.
XOXO
The Bachelor Wizard
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